I lik to spellz wurds

It’s  entertaining  how caught up people get on little details. Of everything there is to challenge individuals choose to fight the small battles, the ones which make little to no difference in the end. For many of my friends, their battle happens to be spelling. I like to focus on larger concepts and ideas.  I am much more productive that way. I openly challenge them to create their own blog, regularly update it with entertaining material, and use better spelling techniques. Wouldn’t it be neat to get a little competition going?

It is no secret I have issue with spelling. In fact, I literally run a magazine and am reminded of my weakness quite often. Yesterday, I was relentlessly mocked for my mistaken spelling of calm in my last blog as “clam.” But, quite possibly my biggest folly is the word minuet… wait no… minet .Hold up guys, I got this, MINUTE! There we go. In reality, it is totally on purpose…. I am just a really big fan of classical music.

It turns out that yesterday was the breaking point for errors. Gotta love my grammar Nazi. After my “clam” mistake, the memes started to roll in. I decided to share one because the irony was greater then the pain. After all, the point of this blog is to be entertaining.

I would like to remind the readers that a blog isn’t necessarily meant to be written as a formal college essay, but rather as a quickly written collection of ideas and concepts. Still, for the love (and maybe sanity) of my friends, I will attempt be become more accurate when it comes to proofreading. All this really means is that I spend a few more minuets reading over my work. Wait, minute. NOPE, SCREW IT. At this point “minuet” is simply auto-corrected into my word processor. They may as well just add my spelling to the Webster Dictionary.  Sorry. Just like those people who like to mix Skittles and M&M’s, I suppose you could just say I wanna watch the world burn.

Take a deep breath

I’ve come to a realization that stress of everyday life is absolutely ridiculous. Nearly every problem we face is nothing in perspective to other problems that could theoretically arise. Sure, we all have ups and downs… but time is usually the best solution to anything. Give something time to settle down, and the sticky situation will untangle its self.  A few months ago I decided to start practicing yoga. Many people claim that it is a “magical solution” for stress which helps you mentally and gets you into shape.  For obvious reasons I was quick to call BS on the whole idea until I was convinced to give it a chance.

I can now say without a doubt that there is something unique to this idea of “a hippy work out,” as refereed to by one of my friends. . Although the lasting effects are not immediate, you feel better surprisingly better even  after your first attempt.  I began practicing yoga because I wanted an excuse to get out of actual homework and distract myself from stress. But after repetition, it made me feel better then  I could have ever hoped for.

I chose tonight to write about it because of an unusual event I encountered. I found a new cool -down pose which I decided to try tonight during  yoga practice. I am completely serious when I say that it brought me the post amazing feeling of mental relaxation and clam. It was almost as if I was sleeping while keeping a purposeful and  steady breathing pattern to maintain mental consciousness.

My problems and sources of stress slipped away into oblivion, and stayed there even after I was done with my practice. In not saying that they completely dissipated, but seemed to become manageable and tiny. Even now, I am writing by blog post and it seems like life is totally chill for the first time in a while.

For a fifteen minuet dedication every night, I not only have managed to restore my sanity, but I also got abs. The benefits of a short daily yoga session are totally worth the little extra work.

I lost my car keys and my sanity

Life is ironic. The moment you dedicate yourself to something which has been so easy in the past, life decides to have another idea and totally redirects your fate.  I made a dedication to update this blog frequently since I often had time late at night to reflect on my thoughts. So here I am once again  attempting to overcome to chaos and provide you with  entertaining stories about my life.

Over the last couple months, I have developed a knack, no…. superpower! I now have this amazing ability to lose anything and everything in my possession.

It has been four months since I have last seen my car keys. I remember returning home from school one day to find them missing in the next morning. Baffled, I looked everywhere for them. I retraced my steps and even looked in the freaking refrigerator. Still, nothing. I was so frustrated I grabbed a spare set out of the garage before driving away. The dramatic irony of this situation was that I had placed a lanyard and multiple key chains on them to avoid this type of incident. To this day, despite my weekly effort, I still haven’t been able to track them down. At this point, I have accepted complete defeat. Keys.. one VS me… zero

I guess my searches have not been a total loss.  I’ve rediscovered some very neat stuff on the explorations through my jungle of a closet. I came across Japanese currency, a very  poorly written love letter from an elementary school crush, a box of unopened animal crackers, and an old indestructible Nokia phone.

Somehow I managed to stumble across all these ridiculous items before finding a simple set of keys. I have decided that the rule of the universe goes something like this “you will find literally everything else EXCEPT for what you’re searching for.” Unfortunately this seems that it doesn’t just apply to items, but careers and love lives too.

If I could just manage to find my keys, perhaps the universe would magically regain balance also.

The badgering brunette

I consider myself to be a relatively happy person. I’m a person who enjoys life and love to laugh among friends. When I say laugh though, I really mean share a good joke or appreciate a comical moment. NOT randomly giggle at awkward times in order to gain attention and annoy everyone around you.

While I was sitting in a library earlier today, I was attempting to write a paper when I was rudely interrupted by a prissy little teenager surrounded by her drooling following of men.

I wouldn’t have taken notice of the group except for the fact her giggles echoed around the quiet room. The high pitched echo sounded like nails against a chalkboard in contrast to the former peace ( no matter how cliche that may sound).

The laugher continued until it again to sound like a horrid cry for help in the middle of a haunted house. It was more of a cackling sound then anything else. Every single time a member of her entirely male group said something, she would giggle like someone had said the funniest thing she ever heard.

I wasn’t the only one who had taken notice. It amazes me that the group didn’t notice the angry glares and frustrated books slams as people stormed out of the previously quiet library.

The best reaction I happened to witness was an older bald man reading off his iPad. When she entered the room he literally had a look of utmost defeat and disappointment. He looked as if this was the last opportunity he ever had to experience silence.

I’m not saying she wasn’t pretty or attractive on the outside, but how on earth can men put up with that!?! The racket coming from her was enough to cause migraines. Five minuets in her company and I was tempted to duck tape her mouth shut!

Either way, I miss the days libraries used to be a sacred place of silence.

Curse of the fangirl

There are a few actors who will never be unseen as characters of their most popular roles in either a TV series or movie.

While I was at the cinema today with my family, we saw a movie about Sherlock Holmes or Khan/Smog (depending on your fandom) recruit Elizabeth Swan, from Pirates of the Caribbean ,and Tom Bransen, from Downton Abbey  to build a machine that would screw over nazi Germany.  I understand from a random perspective this would sound absolutely bonkers, but I promise you that is exactly how I was forced to interpret the entire plot due to my obsessive fan girl brain.  In reality we only went to see the movie the Imitation Game starring Benedict Cumberbatch.

Being a fan girl isn’t easy. Every time you turn around there is a new imaginary hot man you will never get to be with. Plus, imaginary men ruin the real ones for you.  Real men simply cannot meet the romantic expectations that are put into heads by some fictional literary characters. Also, many people are confused by references that accidentally slip our of your mouth. I’m disappointed in you, Sherlock. Still, this is not the point.

The point is that I almost… almost felt guilty about sitting there, not fully appreciating the heart throbbing drama revealing its self before my very eyes. I was simply too busy debating the implications of the interactions of each character, drawing parallels to each of their stereotyped roles in my head. You should have seen the annoyance on my mother’s face when I asked her why John wasn’t there asking stupid questions to Sherlock Holmes the entire time. This may sound crazy, but I prefer to call it the curse of a fangirl.

Your guide to pissing off Target employees

One thing that I absolutely love about my friends is their spontaneous attitude about life.

Three of us have a tradition of hanging out every Friday night. Unfortunately the third member of our “magic trio” bailed so we ended up becoming the “dynamic duo.” Either way, we followed through on our plan of going into town and having a night out.

We started out the night in a pretty dull way. Shopping for ski helmets. But as the night progressed so did the entertainment. While at the athletic store, I explained to him the magic of yoga pants. They are so soft and fit your curves really well. The poor guy just stood there looking a little lost. Although I tease him about being my gay best friend, he is in fact, completely strait.

By the end of the night, we were running around causing havoc wherever we went. While at wal-mart we somehow managed to attract the attention of nearby employees as we played with the hula hoops and tested out the sofas.

Before we headed back home, we had one last idea in the car. My friend has decided to start his own comedy YouTube channel (I will share the link in later blogs) His idea was to go around in public performing random stunts and pranks. So, I suggested that we stop by a nearby Target to take our prank ideas for a test drive. This turned out to be one of the better suggestions of the evening.

We learned that Target employees don’t have a sense of humor. Or, many of them didn’t understand that the things we asked for did not exist. When I was finally able to track down a sales associate, I asked him in a very serious tone of voice if they had “wireless extension cords” in stock. He look at me, a bit baffled, before looking on his phone at their inventory. I think he missed the idea that you cannot plug electric cords into thin air….. I almost felt bad for the guy, knowing that he would likely inquire about the producer later to his manager.

The next lady we asked  nearly started yelling at my poor friend when he gathered enough courage to ask for “heated toilet paper” in a serous tone. “ARE YOU MESSING WITH ME???” she said quickly began to get annoyed before quietly cursing us out.  I had to hide behind a nearby isle in order to keep her from seeing my muffled and uncontrollable laughter. I picked up a bottle of lotion and began to study it intently.   Her anger was almost comical, as mean as that may sound, simply because it was so sudden.. like she had been holding it in for just this moment.

Lastly, I asked the guy at the customer service desk for an “inverse printer… one that takes words off a printed page.” He looked at me and acted much like the first guy. He looked at me confused before I quickly added “It was on my college supply list for the spring semester.” I have to give him a few awesome points for how well he handled the situation from a customer service standpoint. He offered to help me track one down online, but I made an excuse about having to meet someone soon.

At this point my friend pretty much dragged me out the door and back to the car. I may have embarrassed him a little too much… Oh well….  He somehow manages to put up with me while still enjoying himself joining in shenanigans. Either way,  he’s simply awesome and the night turned out to be pretty decent.

Aren’t migraines fun?

Around two o’clock this morning, I had the uncomfortable experience of waking up to an excruciating pain behind my left eye. My whole face had gone numb. The first thought which crossed my mind upon waking to this  pain was “Not again. Not today.” For several years now, I have the misfortune of experiencing occasional migraines. In a way, they have  become a ritualistic event for me.

Confused and disoriented, I stood up and quickly managed to stand up and walk to my bathroom cabinet, tripping over laundry, my cat, a few empty water bottles, and a desk on the way. For me it’s  a race against the clock. There is about a five minuet time span between the time I notice the pain, and when I completely lose consciousness.( When I say “lose consciousness,”  I literally mean black out on the hard cold floor. ) I use this 5 minuets to do everything in my power to minimize the pain and get into a comfortable place.

As I rummaged through my cabinet looking for my medication, my vision began to go fuzzy signaling that my time was running short. There is a certain  irony in this situation.  For those of you who have vision problems, I am sure you will be able to sympathize that it is very hard to read microscopic labels on various bottles when your world has gone completely blurry. It was at this moment when I remembered that I had stuck a large green label on the bottle for this exact reason. If I can manage to take the meds before this time frame has expired, it means that I will be spared from about five hours of extra pain.  Luckily, this time I was able to take a sigh of relief.

Waking up after getting a migraine are always some of the oddest experiences.  I feel a sense of relaxation and complete blissful calm. It is actually a very pleasant experience.

Yet on the other hand, it also feels as if any logic has completely fled my mind. It is as if my mind has been exchanged with that of a goldfish. It is like my mind has been reduced to mush. Even though all day has passed, I am still having trouble forming coherent sentences for this post. I also try to limit my social interaction in this state because  of my trouble with speech after a migraine. Once in a while I will unintentionally begin to slur my words. This is why I typically like to avoid school like the black plague when I deal with one of these monster -like headaches.

A little later on in the afternoon my day was much improved my the visit of a good friend. We managed to have a good time and slip in a few laughs despite my awkward morning. Luckily, I should be back to normal by tomorrow.

Crowds are Scary.

Usually I try to  avoid large social events. As many of my close friends are aware… I much prefer a small  and cozy group of friends. Not only are small gatherings more personal, but there is a psychological phenomenon where people tend to lose themselves mentally in crowds. They forget their humanity, morality, and they lose their distinctive personalities. I’m not sure about other people, but this tends to scare me a little bit.

While I was at a basketball game tonight, I had a bit too much time to reflect upon this fact. As many of us may remember, High School sporting events are a species of their own. Unlike other students, I have a unique perspective at sporting events. I am not on the court or in the stands. I am the person on the sidelines reporting on and photographing the event. Being a journalist allowed me access and perceive an event from whole new angle. My press pass pretty much grants me access to any  event. At the event, I am allowed to sit anywhere I wish (within reason.) It is a pretty sweet deal.

Still, I need to have some proof that I was actually doing work for the publication… rather then mooching off all the perks.  I went to go retrieve a memory card I had left in my truck. I stuck a little board at the base of the door to keep it fro shutting and locking me out. Unfortunately the memory card was not there. To make matters worse, upon trying to return into the building through the door I had exited, I found it locked… Someone had removed my little safety measure.

For a minuet I stood there, unsure what to do. My options were limited. Either wait for someone to see me outside and let me in, or walk around the entire building in the dark and freezing temperatures.  I decided to wait. Eventually someone did decide to walk by the door. We made eye contact, but before she had a chance to let me in she was quickly distracted by her friends. Withing seconds she forgot about helping me out.

While I was waiting outside for someone to let me back in, I reflected on the beginning of the game. This huge rivalry between schools seemed like an excuse for students to act like complete jerks to their fellow teenagers.  One school has a pretty famous reputation for being wealthy. At one point during the game, students whipped out dollar bills and began to throw them around as if teasing the kids from the other school. I still fail to see what this has to do with basketball. Still, I am positive that individually no student would do that on their own. It was an action of the crowd, not an individual.

Despite the flaws of the idea of a rivalry, they can be pretty entertaining. Using the same stereotype of rich and poor, it was a year ago when kids from the “wealthy school” showed up in suit jackets while kids from the other high school’s student government spread word for everyone to dress like hobos as a school spirit activity.  From my perspective of a journalist, this was nothing short of entertaining to write about.  The irony of this rivalry is that the economic status of both towns are pretty consistent.

Although large crowds can be entertaining to watch, I prefer not to take part. This is mostly because I hate the idea of being judged by the actions of a group I have no say in. I like to think that when I take a controversial stand, it will be on purpose for something which actually matters.

The Little Lithuanian

While I was quietly sitting in advanced art today, minding my own business, my peaceful day was awkwardly interrupted by the new Lithuanian foreign exchange student at my school.  It takes a decent amount of effort to pull me out of my under-caffeinated trance in my first class of the day, but she somehow managed it.

The class was dead silent until out the blue she started laughing hysterically. Some brave sole tapped her on the shoulder to ask what was so funny. She then proceed to embark on a solid twenty minuet rant about about Kim Kardashian’s Ass…. The entire class sat in horror at the words which were not- so-elegantly flowing from her mouth. Many awkward glances were exchanged before, out of the grace of God, something happened to quickly end her rant.

She was sitting by a sink when the pipes randomly started to make creaking noises, before breaking. Water began to spray from under the sink, soaking her backpack and feet. She quickly shut up and jumped out of the wet crossfire. Although it may have been mean of me, I had difficulty controlling my laughter and eventually lost the battle to curb it.

Still, this incident alone was not enough get on my nerves. Another incident happened at lunch one day. For the first time in about four days, I dedicated to say on campus for lunch. I was chatting with my friends as we sat on our little bar stools. My fiend’s bag was sitting on the floor when the exchange student decided to mosey over and pick it up before my eyes. I was watching it because she was in the restroom. Without a word or explanation, the girl began to rummage through it. I sat there in surprise before mouthing the words “WTF” aloud. She proceeded to pull everything out as I went to grab the bag. I asked her what she thought she was doing…  “I am looking for food, my lunch is a little boring today,” she said in her odd little foreign accent. I would have had sympathy for the girl if she had been hungry, maybe a refugee from a hard life back home. I do not know her background. But, she had a lunch box stuffed full of perfectly good food! There was clearly no need to steal  lunches.

Dumbfounded, I wasn’t quite sure to say in reply. I don’t care what country you are from. Rummaging through strangers bags’ isn’t exactly a social norm.

I usually make it a point to befriend foreign exchange students. It is difficult to adapt to  a new country, a new culture, a new language. I even have plenty of friends who could be considered pretty eccentric. This girls isn’t exactly easy to get along with. Still, the future may hold a reasonable explication for her behavior.

the hickey incident

Today  I was invited by one of my good friends go eat breakfast with her and her family. It seemed like a perfectly normal Saturday Morning until we sat down to eat.

My friend’s mother happens to be a successful, strong minded, honest, and a loving parent. Still, she has a very unique quality that promises your life will never be dull in her presence. To this day, I have never been disappointed by the quality of conversation.

There are two (or really three) stories that prove this to be especially true. For the sanity of my friend, I will leave the third out. All these stories have one thing in common. They all take place in the restaurant which my friend’s family happens to own.

For a couple months over the summer I had a bit of a scandalous romance. After visiting a hang out locals refer to as “the beach,” my friends  and I went to go grab a bite to eat at her restaurant.  Upon arriving, the first thing out of her mothers mouth is about meeting my friend’s new body guard. Shortly after that, a large college student who was probably around six foot five inches walks up to us. He was quiet and definitely not the kind of person you wanted to piss off. Her mother then sat down with us at lunch and decided to have a very loud and very passionate conversation about random  terms I haven’t even heard of. Although I am used to the randomness that occurs in the lives of my close friends and I, I forgot that my  man lover may not be accustomed to such unique conversation. The look on his face turned from happy complacency into horrified confusion about what me might be getting himself into by associating with me.

Before parting ways that day, he whipped out a guitar and started to serenade me right there, in my friends driveway. Up until that point, it was possibly the most romantic and honestly awkward moment of my life. To make it more awkward for me, he didn’t stop with the romance after playing. He then proceeded to kiss me on the lips, right there and then. He did not even give me the chance to lean in. He just went for it all the way. You have no idea the shock which came over me. My friend hasn’t stopped giving me an extremely hard time about that ever since, and is likely never going to stop. She was just standing there… watching all this take place.

Last night, I was up late talking with my friend and her brother about our individual love lives. After being thoroughly questioned about my recent lack of activity in this subject, my friend’s brother went on to suggest that there was a very cute guy that worked at their restaurant. According to her brother he, was a ” bad ass, so he would be just my type.” He also proceeded to tease me about my summer fling. If you can’t tell, my love life can be a bit of a popular roller coaster. Unfortunately this guy had a serious girl friend, as we were about to find out the next day.

So, back to the 2nd story. As we were ordering food, my friend pointed out a waiter to me. In fact, this was the very same waiter which her brother had wanted me to get together with. I turned slightly pink as my friend’s mother ( and owner of the restaurant)  called him over. On the side of his neck was a giant purple hickey. Turns out I wasn’t the only person to spot it. My friends mother, upon seeing the hickey, had a burst of  laughter before she started to drill him about his recent relationships. He admitted that he was dating the girl who had originally came to serve us juice. It has quickly became apparent who had given him the hickey.  What happened next was a scene out of your favorite comedy show.

I felt so bad for the poor fellow who was standing before us at that very moment.  Before any one else knew it, my friend’s mother had also called his girlfriend over and not-so- politely informed them that it was against company policy to date co-workers. Therefore, she was starting to decide which one she would fire upon their break up.  Both their faces seemed to drain of color upon hearing those words

.He came up with a lame attempt to pass off the hickey as a scruple marker stain. She then proceeded to try and convince him that she would have to give the guy a make over in order to hide that hickey with a little concealer.  The teasing was endless. No matter how much I wanted to look away at the train wreck happening right before my eyes,  it was just too funny. What she did was not uncalled for, but it was certainly mean. Before you knew it, people from other tables were going quiet in order to listen to the show. The rising laughter in the room was accompanied by an increase of volume in the conversation at my table. Soon, the whole conversation was being broadcast to the entire restaurant.

Although I may be single as a Pringle at the moment, I luckily get to enjoy the relationship drama of others while reflecting on my own past situations.

a very freaky observation about Facebook

Social Media… It is a very loaded topic. In a way, it has become a digital civilization. People who use Facebook as a main source of information  are the reason that I fear for a new generation of young adults.

They say gossip spreads like wildfire. On sites like Facebook things are transferred almost immediately. The problem is that things said to the public from friends and followers are entirely hearsay.

Today, I leaned that a former classmate had passed away. How, you might wonder? I found out not through a friend, or even a real person, but rather his status. Scrolling through my newsfeed I came across a post that was created to inform “friends” that his life ended in 2015. The status was as cold and emotionless as a gravestone. It did not state anything about his life, but rather just gave a date of death. It is almost as if social media is becoming less about connecting with others and more about creating an online data base of a timeline of someones life. I took a minuet to consider how easy it would be to fake your death through a simple click of a status update. In a matter of minuets, 800 plus people could easily believe me to be dead.

Of course he will be dearly missed by friends, family, and an entire community. Posts on his wall still stream in from mourning classmates and friends… posts which will never be seen by the deceased. Although the owner of the Facebook account has passed on, his online presence still manages to linger. Still the disturbing fact is that some grieving friend or family member felt the need to update his final “status.”  There is something eerie about how this was top priority right after his death.

More and more I am starting to respect my friends who  took a stand and refused to cave into this social trend of Facebook. Either by coincidence or a connection, they seem to be more compassionate and make face to face interactions so much more meaningful. Still, my community has lost a friend, and will take time to recover from such a loss.

organized chaos

As a few of my followers might know, I not only run a blog but a newsroom as well. My job as Editor In Chief is to create organization among the chaos. The last time I left my staff alone for two days, they started to riot and throw a rebellion before nearly setting a few computers on fire.

My decision to become a journalist was partially due to the fact the media allows you to cut through all types of cliques to find a common purpose. On my staff this phenomenon is particularly true. Every single person brings a new dynamic to the group. The single trait which unites us unanimously is our eccentricity and ambition. Upon first sight, there have never been a group of young adults more diverse.

But upon closer inspection it becomes clear we couldn’t be closer. If anything, we are so close that we cause mental damage to any onlookers that dare enter our newsroom. The last outsider that decided to sit in on one of our meetings needed therapy. I’m not kidding….

Still, we should be given an award for diversity of political views and backgrounds. One staff member happens to amazing with technology but has difficulty with social interaction. The girl next to him happens to be the future captain of the cheer team. At the desk across the room lies the state champion rodeo queen. Next to her is a nationally ranked  photographer, also a member of the White House Press Corps. Our resident satire writer can go weeks without speaking a single word. Yet, when he does speak, the words which flow from his mouth are enough to move mountains with their impact (or shock factor really).

As you can imagine, the diversity in the newsroom leads to plenty of chaos and a decent amount of entertainment. Since my staff is like family. Its literally quite possible I spend more time with these weirdos then my own family. Because we are so familiar with each other, filters in conversation are rarely used.  Today as I walked into the  lab, my opinions editor had taken the liberty of starting a lively conversation about baby sloths and bi-gender Asians (supplemented with pictures broadcast on the overhead) right before we transitioned into coverage about the recent challenges to freedom of press. For a full functioning newsroom, I can’t exactly say that we pull off “serious” very well.

To be entirely honest, the humor of sticoms like the “Big Bang Theory” are dull compared to the shenanigans my staff and I embark upon.

A day in the life of a ski bum

Today, I hit the Colorado slopes and decided to learn how to snowboard. After all the bruises and possible concussion, I guess you could say it was an awesome day.

Since it was my first time on the slopes I decided to take lessons. When we formed our groups I quickly discovered I would be spending the rest of the day with seven other people. All of them ( including the instructor) happened to be men in their  twenties.

The teacher of the class was easily the coolest stoner I have ever met. For  reasons he will be left unnamed ( mostly because I think I saw him take weed from his friend at the end of the lesson, but still…) .He was a really talkative guy. Fortunately, it wasn’t the annoying type of endless chatter, but rather the kind which made the group comfortable and  allowed everyone to kinda be themselves. His easy going attitude made the class feel like a judgment free zone. Which, let me tell you, was a huge relief considering the amount of times I managed to face-plant strait into the unforgiving snow. Even when I nearly fell of the chairlift, still no judgment. Thanks to him, I was gliding down the mountain like a pro by the end of the lesson.

It turns out he recently attended the college which I have my eye set on for next year, with the exact same major. I mean, he did manage to drop out…. but still. It was pretty cool to hear a real student perspective.

Still, just because my group did not judge doesn’t mean that others held to the same standard…. On my second run off the ski lift, I fell. Randomly some little 6 year old kid skied up to me  and said in the sassiest tone possible “Hurts Doesn’t it..?”  before skiing off like a little freaking pro.  There I sat in the snow laughing my butt off! Who did that kid think he was? I did not know kids were capable of packing that much sass into three words.  I learn something new every day.

I look forward to heading up to the mountains again and hitting the slopes  soon. After years of wanting to start snowboarding I finally took the fist step. If I’d known it was this easy all along, I would have gone ages ago.

A failed day at the gym

Recently, one of my good friends had moved out of the foothills and into the city. As part of her own New Years resolutions she decided to get back into better shape. So, she invited me to explore the local rec center and spend a morning working out with her.

Although this sounds like an extraordinarily boring time, it wasn’t. The moment we entered the doors the ladies seemed confused. At the time we were completely oblivious as to why. Since we were both new to the area, the ladies at the front desk began to give us a tour of the facility.

We soon discovered the cause for the confusion. In the entire building, there was not one person under the age of 92. It was as if we had entered the physical therapy center of a retirement home. My friend and I exchanged awkward glances. It is likely that we are the youngest people most of the members of their fitness club have seen in over twenty years. I must say, we don’t have a problem with the elderly. But the awkward silence and  old men trying to lecture us about inappropriate yoga pants was enough to kill any fitness vibe.

Needless to say, my friend and I did not get a very good workout in. After we left the gym, we needed something to do so we ended up in a local coffee shop. Instead, we ended up enjoying the day talking about failed New Years resolutions with caramel flavored high fructose corn syrup, high calorie comfort. We pretty much did the opposite of what we set out for. Oh well.

People are weird.

People are entertaining, plain and simple. Out of my many hobbies and projects people watching is simply one of my favorite.  There is rarely something more interesting then sitting in a public place and surveying all that goes on around you.

While waiting for my  ride today, I decided to go and grab a drink at a nearby Starbucks. Sitting in my little corner clutching my hot Creme Brulee Mocha, I glanced around to lock sight on a (honestly quite attractive… but probably gay) teenager.

His hipster glasses, which  framed his sharp jawline, sat crooked  on his face. His black hair looked slick with gel.  The look on his face told onlookers that he was completely enthralled in his book. To my amusement he was reading Alice in Wonderland. It was the exact same Barnes and Nobles- classic literature edition which I have sitting next to me on my desk at this very moment. Tell me, what strait man reads Alice in Wonderland in publicon purpose? He was pretty fruity if you ask me, not that there is anything wrong with that of course! Unfortunately, just not my type.

Across the room, a group of overly giggly teenage girls worked collectively on a psychology project. Their matching infinity scarves, UGG Boots, and serious use of the word “yolo” helped me to place them in early high school.

At the table next to me, sat the most adorable old couple I have ever seen. They were holding hands as they looked out the window at the busy street.  I overheard them reminisce back to their honeymoon in Florida. I guessed it may have been their wedding anniversary. As the  couple got up to leave, the elderly man leaned over to his wife whispering a few phrases. Although most of it was too quiet for me to hear, I managed to catch him say to her “… and you are just as beautiful as the day we married.” There, at that moment…in that specific Starbucks, my heart melted into a little puddle of mushy cuteness overload. Although I am usually able to keep quiet as I eavesdrop, a little bit of the “AWWW” that echoed around my head must have escaped my lips.  The couple turned in my direction and shot me an extremely sassy look that said, ” Yeah. We are the cutest old couple you’ve ever seen, huh?” It was literally a scene from your favorite romantic comedy.

I may not know where my future will take me, but at the end of the day (after the youthful side of me has had its fun) I aspire to have a relationship like that couple. Although you might think people watching is purely about others, you might be surprised how much deep shit you dig up about yourself in the end.

Sometimes, specific things need to be said.

The trouble with life is that it is so random. One moment you can be focused on a happy memory or excited for something so silly. Then, out of nowhere, the universe can pull the plug on everything and leave you with en empty feeling of doubt or sadness.  I know, I promised to make this blog entertaining and silly, but sometimes there are very important things that needs to be said.

Death is confusing, no matter the context. Also, you can not control fate.

My friends father lost his life today because of a series of unfortunate events involving bad weather and risky mountain roads.  He did not deserve to lose his life, he was only trying to the right thing and help those in need. What happened was not fair or just in any form of the meaning.

He leaves behind a large family of wonderful individuals who will desperately miss their dad.  Still, I know the positive impact this fallen police officer had on his family and on his community will never be forgotten. His legacy lies with his family and friends. What I have written here does not do justice to his character or his life. Honestly, it leaves out his traits of a silly and fun loving personality.

Although the outreach of this blog post may be minimal, thoughts and prayers for his family would be greatly appreciated.  Life is short and unpredictable. Perhaps this is what makes it fragile, perhaps this is what makes it worth while, or perhaps it’s a combination of both.

The Real Twilight Zone

Last summer, my family and I were traveling and decided to stop in a small town  for the night. Tired, we drove into the parking lot of a well-known hotel chain hoping they had a room available. They did. At first it seemed  like a quiet little town with pleasant locals.  Almost too pleasant. The town was  remote so the service on our cellphones was limited.

Before settling in for the night, we decided to stop by a local grill for some dinner. This is when things began to get weird. Opening the door, laughter and the sound of happy conversation echoed through the restaurant.  But the moment we asked to be seated the entire restaurant froze, going dead silent as the waiter escorted us to our seats. Every eye in the room followed us with a dead stare as we proceeded to sit down.

Until that moment, I did not think it was possible to consume food that fast. Although the silence started to fade as new locals entered the restaurant, the atmosphere was still eerie. The locals had an unusual accent which I couldn’t quite place.  My parents and I exchanged awkward glances as we quickly paid and exited the restaurant. Clearly, this town wasn’t used to outsiders.

On our way back to the hotel we attempted to get gas from the ONLY gas station in town….. Turns out, they ran out of gas. Even until present, this still strikes me as odd.

The next morning we woke up at nearly half past four AM to discover yet another set of surprises.  The power had gone out. At first we thought it may have been an issue with our room or even just floor. But no,after a quick trip to the front desk we discovered the entire town had suddenly gone off grid.  As we looked out the window of our room and onto the barren landscape of the American southwest. Things like spotlights, billboards, and streetlights that  would normally be lit were completely dark. The light from the moon and stars reflected dimly on the pavement. Tired, and honestly still road weary, we returned to bed until daylight.

Upon waking, we packed up and left as soon as we could. On the road in the town, there was not a car nor person to be seen. It was almost as if the population of the town had disappeared. The only sound which could be heard outside was the howl of the  dusty wind. Not an animal or insect stirred. I had never felt so removed from society. It was almost as if my family and I were transported to another planet. Shivers ran through my body as an irrational part of me feared we may never find our way out of that town. Something about it was wrong. So very wrong. It is a hard feeling to describe. Possibly it was a combination of the extraneous circumstances and bad timing. Either way, it was time to leave

Even to this day, a part of me wonders if this town really exists. Although my family was present for this little adventure, t it has somehow been cleverly avoided in conversation as an unexplained phenomenon.

“You are traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Your next stop, the Twilight Zone!”

Case of the missing goldfish

Poor Squishy. You’d think it would be a difficult feat to lose a goldfish. Goldfish shouldn’t disappear out of mid air. Still, that is exactly how I managed to lose my pet goldfish. Instead of having a proper toilet bowl burial, he vanished even before I was able to bring him home and let him live out  his long life… staring blankly into my blue bedroom wall.

My story starts on a Friday during my Senior year of high school. The brisk chill of teen spirit and rebellion rushed down the hallways as the temptation of freedom neared, since winter break was almost upon us.

My lovely brunette friend was sweet enough to bring her friends a surprise Christmas present that day.  As I closed my eyes she placed a small container in my hand, it felt like a jar. Curious, I opened my eyes to see that the jar contained a shimmery little goldfish. At lunch my friends joked( ironically) that I would be the first to kill mine. My friends had such strong faith in me. Dawww shucks guy, thank you.

Later that day I headed to gym class where my poor little Squishy would go MIA.  I set  him on a ledge by the athletic office to keep him out of the dodge ball crossfire. They say if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. I assumed that this would also work for mason jars full of goldfish, but I decided not to test the theory.

When I went to go fetch him  after class, he had disappeared. To my astonishment, he was no where to be seen.  I automatically broke down on my knees and began to loudly weep, mourning the brave fish who was taken from me.. never to be seen again. That’s what people are supposed to do right? …..hysterically mourn their lost pet fish in public? Totally.

Although I have never totally gotten over the loss of my dear pet fish, I learned many life lessons out of this experience. Fish are a lot like kids in the sense that….

1)  I should never have any

2) Both should not be left unattended in public.

This is how it all started.

Last night, as my friends and I counted down to the new year, they asked me about my New Years resolutions. When confronted with this question I froze up as I realized not a thought about this subject had crossed my mind… well, since last New Years Eve.  Quickly I managed to blurt out that I intended to become more organized and get my life in order. Although both of these goals are likely to sink like the Titanic, they seemed to be logical ideas.

As the night continued, this question clung in the back of my mind. Somehow after several glasses of… I’m honestly not sure what, a conversation of blogging began. Before, I had contributed blogs to nerds who sat in the dark, hiding from daylight and social interaction. Still, there is an erotic type of draw and temptation when it comes to releasing pure, and unfiltered thoughts of my (admittedly) average life.

So, here is my real New Years resolution. My new resolution is to regularly update this blog and fill it with purely entertaining content. I hope this will not only be education journey for me but an entertaining one for you as well. Thank you to my awesome friend (you know who you are) who gave me a kick start to this whole idea. I might be just a little bit of a  copy-cat. But after all, aren’t we all?